who are you a fan of?

it was raining hard in makati ... a friend and I were walking from glorietta after purchasing some stuff from the face shop when we started talking about being a fan of something .... and I realized... i do not think I have ever been a long term fan of ... anything ... as compared to my friend who introduce Kate Moss to me and the league of runway goddessess called the supermodels ... I met him in 1992... I was a swimmer and a rower ... he was wearing the earliest form of the baby tee (he literally bought his clothes from the children's section of any depeatment store) .... he had big glasses .... promo bags from either Lufthansa or Adidas and was so darn skinny he could stand behind a meralco light post and he wouldn't be seen ... plus! his oh so valuable magazines with his beloved models plastered on them - striking a pose, creating a stir, or just being a bitch of a celebrity... his lovable fanaticism endeared him to me ... we used to call him Skate Moss ... and it was a no brainer when he finally joined the fashion industry as one of its notable stylists ... he was a fan and a proud one at that ... this led me to think... was I ever a fan of anything? I like Harry Potter but I do not know JK Rowling... I liked Voltes V and tried to follow it but I don't know the origins of anime... I thought I loved Menudo but I don't have their albums and I didn't see their concert ... and madonna ... well all I could do was listen to my friends and classmates who talked about her incessantly, have memorized her concerts and has bought her books ... then I remembered... we never had the money for such things ... I just had enough for school and decent pair of shoes ... i wanted the voltes V robot but all I could do was look at other kids as they play with theirs .. I was not given money for such things because it just wasn't important ... what I wanted wasn't really that important ... i've cried ... i've asked ... but all fell on deaf ears ... so i decided ... whatever I don't have... I don't need ... and what I don't need I shouldn't think about ... I had an exercise before with a very respectable teacher ... the exercise brought me face to face with my inner child ... he was quiet ... with wide eyes and a quiet way about him ... his hair parted neatly ... he would sit and stare at me ... waiting ... he was wearing his uniform - white polo, khaki shorts and black shoes ... it would've been ok if not for the other children screaming and laughing ... playing with each other ... wearing colorful clothes ... while he was sitting on a bench ... just looking ... I stopped ... i just had to ... because I don't know what to say .... to what I have done to myself ... slowly am trying to let that child free ... to like and laugh ... to know that it's alright to want ... that there's a way to get them .... that what he thinks is important and ... it's ok to be crazy about something ... because at the moment that one is within reach of his objective ... things look a lot more brighter ... who doesn't want something like that???